Hope plummets

It is late.  And I hate this.  And I am thinking thoughts that I should not think...about him.  About him doing the things he did with me with someone else.  And I have to allow myself to feel this.  Because if I don't feel this, I will not get through this.  So, I accept it.  The best I can.  My heart feels leaden, my cheeks are cold from the tears.  I accept it.  I visual it.  I acknowledge it.  I recognize it will happen.  He will use the same lines..."...you will wear a skirt and I will slowly draw circles with my fingers up your thigh."  He will kiss her.  He will feel excitement and horniness.  He will feel an expectation for someone that he no longer feels for me.  I accept this.  I release it.  I release it.  I release it.